16 Times Your Mom Ruined Your Whole Life Forever
Moms have the best intentions and we know what they do is out of love. But more often than not, they miss the mark – and our lives are forever scarred (or at least ruined for the day). Here are 16 times when you thought for sure your life was over because of your mom.
#1 - When you had to bring alternative clothes everywhere because she wouldn’t let you leave the house otherwise.
After all the fights and the tears, you realized it was easier to go out wearing what your mom found “acceptable.” But it also meant that you had to carry your entire wardrobe with you all the time, and get changed in the most uncomfortable places. Thanks for making me look like a bag lady forever, Mom!
#2 - When you had to sneak out of the house after being grounded.
Being grounded is an automatic life-ruiner. How will your crush know you exist unless you show up? Who knows how much fun you’re missing out on while you’re under house arrest? That’s why you went to extreme lengths to get out of the house, at any cost. But never did your house seem so fortified. Everything was a potential trap. How did we ever manage it?
#3 - When she would buy you clothes.
“I went shopping today and got you some things!” This is the phrase that every child dreads. Because no matter how well you get along with your mom, chances are you have very different ideas as to what fashion is. All you can do is stick them in the back of the closet and pray she forgets she got them for you. Which she never does.
#4 - When you came home late and she was up waiting for you.
It’s only when you miss your curfew that the woman who falls asleep during “Jeopardy!” is wide awake and staring at the door. Don’t even try to hide it – your face when you see her tells the whole story. Better just own up to it, even if it ruins your whole life forever.
#5 - When she sees you while you’re out with your friends.
Ah, the early teen years – when nobody is old enough to drive, but everyone wants to hang out. You try your best to act grown-up with your friends while you’re at the mall, and oh look, who shows up? It’s Mom, running errands and suddenly wanting to be your BFF. Go away, Mom! You’re ruining everything!
#6 - When she insisted on having a family Christmas card.
Ugh, Mom! No one wants to see pictures of our stupid family. No one thinks the gimmicky get-ups are funny. And no one wants this picture to come back and haunt us in the future. Christmas card pictures are a sure-fire life-ruiner.
#7 - When you weren’t doing anything wrong for once, and she blamed you anyway.
Life is so unfair! How could she possibly think that her little cherub would be doing anything wrong? So persecution. Very blame. Wow. Never mind that you did 19 other things she never found out about – THIS time, she is 100% wrong and is ruining your LIFE.
#8 - When your mom calls you by your full name.
You’re hanging out in your room and you hear it – like the voice of God herself is calling for you. Your whole life flashes before your eyes. You remember every bad thing you did, and every good thing you never bothered to do. You know that your life is about to be ruined, but you don’t know why. There’s no stopping what is about to happen. Time to face the music.
#9 - When you’re watching a movie with your mom and there’s a sex scene.
There are all those websites devoted to telling parents about objectionable material in movies so that they can protect their kids. But where is a website for kids who want to watch movies with their parents? Why can’t we be protected from this life-ruining horror? How are you supposed to ever look her in the eye again?
#10 - When you mom called to check up on you in the middle of having fun.
There you are, enjoying your weekend, having fun, feeling free as a bird, making memories with friends. It is that exact moment when you are living your best life that your mom decides to call you and ruins your good time. “Are you having fun?” Well, Mom, I WAS until you called! Thanks for nothing! Weekend RUINED.
#11 - When you see you have 42 missed calls from your mom.
If on the off chance you are out of range or you couldn’t check your phone, you can be sure that whatever fun you were having will be forgotten forever when you see that your mom has been desperate to get a hold of you. You call her back, shaking, sweating, and what was that Mom? You wanted me to pick up milk on the way home? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
#12 - When your mom gets all mushy about her love for you.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with getting some love from Mom every once in a while. But why, in the name of all life-ruining moments, does she choose the most public place on Earth to express her love for you? Why does the check-out lady or the postman or the bus driver need to know how much she loves you, thus ruining your coolness forever?
#13 - When your mom tries to share your interests.
The Internet provides Mom with countless ways to ruin your life, and she will try every single one until you are forced to go live in a remote cabin with not even a landline because she has found you on every site you’ve ever signed up for and your life has been ruined forever.
#14 - When your mom tries to be hip.
There comes a point when every mom feels like she’s lost touch with her kids. Which is fine with her kids, but never mind about that – she wants to know what the cool new trends are! Except when she tries them out, you are scarred for life and will never touch your phone again. Give it up, Mom. You’re ruining communication forever.
#15 - When your mom never gave you as much money as you asked for.
Yes, Mom, I know that back in your day five dollars was a lot of money. Yes, Mom, I know that I just asked you for twenty bucks two days ago. Yes, Mom, I already spent the tenner Grandmom sent me in my birthday card. Pumpkin spice lattes don’t come cheap, and neither does being cool! How am I supposed to hang with my friends when you are RUINING my LIFE with this poor excuse for an allowance?
#16 - When your mom bugs you about your future.
Moms love telling you that you’re not old enough to do what you want, but they want you to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life RIGHT NOW. But the joke’s on her, because you know your YouTube channel is gonna blow up any day now, and then watch out, world, because Mom won’t be able to ruin your life ever again!