10 Times You Tried To Be One Of Those Cute Cooks But Failed Miserably
Seriously, who are these people who spend hours baking impossibly cute and delicious pastries without creating doughy monsters and cookies that ask for mercy? Here's why you'll never be Martha Stewart.
#1 - When your skeleton gained weight.
See, this is when you start to believe in the whole "I'm just big-boned" theory. Because you're pretty sure that what started out as bones, suddenly expanded and you were stuck with a ginger-bread man. A very plump ginger-bread man.
#2 - When you didn't understand how circles work.
It's the intention that counts and boy was your intention ambitious. You were going to astound with those Mickey-Mouse banana pancakes.
#3 - When you didn't have dainty little fingers.
How do you ruin a two-ingredient dessert? Your thick, blunt, giant man-hands can't put a strawberry with whipped cream filling together without creating a massacre.
#4 - When that cake looked waaay simpler.
I mean, watermelons are easy enough to draw, how hard could it be to make into a cake? Turns out it's pretty damn hard.
#5 - When pinatas sounded like a good cookie idea.
Ok, with this one, you knew going in that it would be a challenge. I mean, this is an actual stuffed piñata cookie with intact M&M's inside.
#6 - When that minion cake looked easy.
Basically just a single eye on a yellow background. You really know you're not cut out for this line of work when you make a minion look like a cyclops version of Sponge Bob.
#7 - When an artistic gingerbread cookie fight turns into a doughy massacre.
You thought that the decorating part just consisted of a general squirting with an icing gun, but turns out it was more complicated than that.
#8 - When your niece wanted Hello Kitty cookies.
Let's just say that you used this opportunity to have a passive aggressively feminist discussion about women in the kitchen.
#9 - When you thought this Cookie Monster idea was genius.
It's basically just a cupcake with a cookie sticking out of the muffin top. You somehow managed to make it look like someone digested the whole thing and then set it in a little puddle.
#10 - When you wanted cake for the book club meeting.
A Great Gatsby cake sounds good in theory and even looked amazing in the picture, but let's just say those Pinterest people are on another level- no one bakes like this.