Frustrating struggles ALL girls can empathise with
Being a girl sucks. We’re punished on a monthly basis for not falling pregnant, having a baby means kissing goodbye to alcohol and soft cheese, we’re taxed on tampons, and thanks to Marilyn Monroe, society seems to think heels are necessary… Us ladies certainly have our moments when it comes to making life awkward (let’s face it, we won’t die if we wake up one day and find that our contouring kits are replaced with a spare hour in the morning), but there are SOME genuine girl problems we can all empathize with
#1 - Shaving is time consuming
From our eyebrows to our big toes, there’s not a part of our bodies that don’t require some attention on the hair removal front. And, whether you shave or wax, you’re gonna encounter a rash at some point…
#2 - Even the good bras don’t prevent side-boob
Even when you DO find a decent bra, you can’t just lie there seductively and not expect at least some ungraceful form of side-boob to appear. At this point, tit tape will just make you cry.
#3 - We all need a hero…
In the words of Bonnie Tyler, “where have all the good men gone?” Yes, there are plenty of you out there (we know that really), but in a busy world it seems we can’t right swipe our way to finding a prince charming.
#4 - There’s just not enough time for “chill” anymore
Can we all just have a moment to not be sexy? Sometimes it’d be good to have time to ACTUALLY chill.
#5 - We can’t own our pregnancy rage for the whole nine months
It’s only when our bumps start to show that we get jet out of free jail cards for every instance of unnecessary moodiness. We want to own those hormonal outbursts from start to finish, damnit!
#6 - Political t-shirts aren’t an option
Whether they’re drawing attention to one’s chest area, or the message is obscured by it, political t-shirts just do not work. Signs are too heavy to act as a viable alternative…
#7 - You need a degree to contour
Want to look anything like Kim K? Well, be prepared to get your degree in professional contouring before you stand any chance of deciphering that Pinterest tutorial sister!
#8 - Your eyeliner holds your eyeballs hostage
Want to laugh at a joke? Cry at the ending of the Notebook? Sorry, you can’t, because your eyeliner will run and you’ll look like a bi-polar panda.
#9 - Mom nights out become progressively less wild
In the space of a year you’ll go from doing tequila slammers off a stripper’s chest to drinking a bottle of Pinot Grigio in your finest yoga pants.
#10 - There’s no such thing as a simple list
Think you’re going to streamline your daily tasks so you can execute them with guy-like precision? Well, think again. Nail appointments, time to journal, meetings with your boss, yoga, perfecting your everlasting hair removal routine…that list will NEVER be simple.
#11 - You can’t just own your inner basic bitch
When it’s so cold outside that only Lord Voldemort and his secret wife the Ice Queen can survive and you want to pull on a pair of Uggs, you can’t. Why? Because your friends will mock your basic fashion choices and they’ll show no mercy in the process.
#12 - For some of us, there’s no hiding that cleavage
Bandages, sports bras, tops the size of your average six-man tent…No matter how hard you try, it’s difficult to disguise a big rack. Really, there's just no point in trying at all.
#13 - We’re all victims of poor sleep positioning
Are all guys part of some secret agreement to sleep bang in the middle of the bed? Is there something perilous about sleeping on the edge? Do monsters under the bed actually exist and you’re just not telling us?
#14 - We can’t stop weight coming off our boobs
Okay, those of us suffering from big-chest-itis may moan a lot, but we’re also secretly gutted when we lose weight and it falls from our mammaries before our thighs. When is spot burning going to be a thing? Please say we can make it a thing…