Five killer comebacks for when someone's rude
As humans, we're all inclined to a spot of rudeness. Yet it appears that some are more capable of it than others.
If someone puts you down, your instinct is to retort with something just as hurtful. But, why sink to their level? There are other ways you can respond, and they're far more shocking than any insult will ever be!
#1 - Show them your manners
The chances are, the person who's being rude is trying to draw you into an angry space. This means they want to see a nasty reaction.
It's difficult at the time, but if you rise above their rudeness and thank them, you're acknowledging their insult with the opposite of what they're expecting. Not only does this come as a shock, it'll let you calm down quicker than if you fire at them.
#2 - Make them question what they've just said
An alternative to thanking the rude person is to ask them, "What do you expect me to say to that?"
Think about this one carefully; if you're rude and unreasonable, then someone asks you this question, you're clearly forced to think about what you've just said.
At best, you'll get an apology from them. In the very least, they'll feel guilty and think about what they've done.
#3 - Ask them WHY they said what they said
Sometimes someone is rude without being highly insulting. Usually, this happens when they feel they have a valid reason for being so. By asking them why they said what they said, you're giving them a chance to validate their own feelings, without agreeing with them.
Sometimes people are rude because they're having a bad day. Maybe they found out someone they loved passed away, they might be having a hard time at home…the reasons are almost limitless. By asking them to discuss their feelings, you disarm them and give them a chance to benefit from your empathy.
#4 - Force them to discuss their constant negativity
Is the rudeness coming from someone who is ALWAYS negative? While some of us have more reasons for feeling down than others, that doesn't mean we can subject the people around us to a constant barrage of dismay.
If this person is constantly hostile, ask them why? Be firm in doing this and you'll let them know you're not around to be victimized. This question forces them to address their attitude, and it could save you from future incidents of rudeness.
#5 - Leave the discussion until the next day
Sometimes arguments with loved ones lead to the nead for a little breathing room. If someone has been rude to the point that you feel upset or ashamed, you have the right to walk away so you can both reflect on matters.
Similarly, if you have an overwhelming desire to say something highly hurtful, take a step back. What you say in a defensive way in the heat of the moment can't be retracted, no matter how much you decide you didn't mean what you said.
Abandoning the discussion until the next day has two benefits: you both have an opportunity to form a resolution away from each other's interruptions, and all that adrenaline simmers down to a level where you no longer feel the need to fight. Take some time to think about your response and encourage the other person to do the same.